Fear

Have you ever read the sesame street book, 'The Monster at the End of This Book?' That's a good book Grover is afraid at the monster at the end of the book but he doesn't realize that he is only afraid of himself, because he is the monster at the end of the book.

So what's the monster hiding at the end of our books?

Please don't read this, don't scroll down, don't look at the rest of this post, because you will make my deepest, darkest nightmares...

My monster is the fear that my brother will meet an untimely death and the morning it happened I wouldn't have told him I love him and told him goodbye. That is my GREATEST fear.

You have no idea how much it scares me to just admit that, because once it's out there, it might actually happen... and that scares me so much.

There so much that could happen to him, and it would just be quick and fast. Or it could drag out and be painful... that's even scarier.

Saying this out loud, getting it out there... makes it more real. It's no longer this thing I have bottled up inside of me, it's out there, and it could happen.

 

...A reality.