Of All The Most Ridiculous... Absurd...

• My pinky toe fell in love with string cheese... pepper jack.
  

• At dinner, my hot dog bun grew legs and walked away.
  

• My sister grew a moustache, shaved it, then ate it.
  

• In Africa there is a tribe of women, they asexually birth flowers and garden them to maturity. When the plants are grown and in bloom, they eat their mothers and turn in to cannibalistic humans.
  

• Mary's lamb got eaten by a walking Megladon wearing a plaid flannel Hawaiian shirt.
  

• Me and my homecoming date turned into faeries and had to save the rest of the faeries from the cats.
  

• A bird ad a car made babies on top of a rainbow... Their kid couldn't taste the rainbow. It was the first flying car hybrid.
  

• My sister was dared to jump off a cliff for a dollar... She did it. I spent her dollar on a pack of gum.
  

• My brother had a baby. It was a green ball. Then it died and it's carcass consumed our dog
  

• My pocket turned into a black hole and ate everything I put in it. Then it destroyed us all.
  

• My aunt dropped a marshmallow in the fire. It grew and mutated into a 10ft. tall burning marshmallow man and came to exact his revenge.